gypsy beads

it resembles a gypsy's doorway and still beats to remind me i'm alive
pink and twilled to dangle upon entering but you didn't garnish a sound
ironcially i saw your future before you walked through
but you didn't pay anyway, you just found the doorway and smiled at the view
you didn't break this so don't lose sleep, you just found a way to peel away at it
strips of tissue available to anyone because i won't close up
i could number them and hand out slips before hand
stand in line and wait for your number, please pull here!
i don't blame you for your choices
i pity the sacrafical lamb that takes the hit
we please the gods and then a tasty meal afterwards
we aren't the ones gutted and left to bleed out
spritially and physically satisfied, we are content with the loss
i can't bring myself to say you and me... i the lamb and meal
are you satisfied? don't be, i haven't finished bleeding...
please pull again i don't think i got the picture...
i don't think the gods have accepted the sacrifice...

when you breathe

lean into me, let me smell you again
i don't know if i'll get over you tonight
long enough to fall asleep
could it be best to just stay here and hold you
for you, for me... would you know it was me
i feel empty when you breathe
i wish you were looking at me the same way
your eyes are closed and you reached for my hand
i can see my hand in yours, is that what you see
do you know it's me, am i making you sigh tonight
i could reach your neck with my mouth
i could whisper to your skin, take you in
would that be alright with you, would know it's me
i can't keep my eyes open and you're still all i see
i feel you squeeze me while you dream
can i squeeze back, do you want it to be me

almost three a.m.

almost three am, i can't take my eyes off the road
my breath still flows in front of me
you're painted in thoughts
the way you traced my hand with your thumb
i watched every inch of movement
your eyes were closed and i couldn't help but wonder
do you know it's me you're touching
afraid to move i can't sense the right place for my hands
curled up sleeping, you pull me closer
do you know that i'm there
the battle for this position, to be next to you at daybreak
cold and hoping for your warmth
expecting to be the one you've stolen sheets from
this battle has me scared
how deep can i go without expecting pain, this will hurt
tonight you brushed my leg, my arm, my hands
ran your fingers through my hair, kissed my shoulder
you held my hand... your eyes were open
what happens when mine are closed
what do i not know
almost three am and i'm more awake than i should be

nuzzle in

nuzzle in, i need you closer cause it just feels right
hold me, then hold my hand, and hold me again
i adore the way you breathe in while you're asleep
i could stand here shivering in the cold for hours
just kiss me again, kiss my neck, nuzzle in

nuzzle in, i'll miss this smell, this warmth, pull me in
kiss my shoulder, kiss my cheek, kiss me good night
reach for my hand, reach for my comfort, reach for me
touch my head, touch my hand, touch my heart
kiss me again, kiss my neck, nuzzle in

the choler of our last pieces of hope

i'm set upon this crescent soul to wax and wane at your touch,
tired and filthy, i brush against my severed thoughts,
to be alone with you at last, comforted quietly warm and whist,
covered in echoes of the past now muted by the silence we fill,
searching for forgiveness from the choler of our last pieces of hope
woven back with chaotic grace to ruin-like sanctums of who we were,
we'll just be here, scattered together in the mist of future hope and anguish,
floating, falling, failing and flawless - we'll find ourselves together,
we'll find what we've lost in neighborhoods we're reluctant to see again,
exploring the wine chasing rumination that spawned our vichyssoise of honesty,
we'll remember that delicacy forever, empowering it with pleasure,
and we'll find ourselves wanting to find ourselves together.

i'm not made of sunshine

i used to love the way you smiled
now only the way i remember it
your face lingers in my love
i won't forget to give you your space
in my heart and in my soul
just be a good girl
be the first thing i think of
when someone asks me about love
be the second name to appear
when i think of fear
the only person i'm afraid to see more
death, but he won't kiss me good bye
untie this knot that's keeping us together
breakout and see past the light
open your eyes, you'll see i'm not what you thought
i'm not made of sunshine
but i always brightened your day
i could see you growing towards me
i can see how you felt you needed it
but that's not me

talk slower

i only wanted to be slightly beauish
stand closer, smile softer, talk slower
let's not allow ghosts to thrive between us
let me open these doors for you
i can find a way to hold your hand
a haunting lesson of cavalierism
it back fires even in my imagination
but at least i've tried, at least i wanted it
this is all about what we know we want
what we know is there, what we know we feel
and what we are too afraid to face
a weekend of pseudo-paramours
as real as the dreams we wake from
everything is there and we know it
and just as easily left behind us
when we decide to open our eyes

what your love's done

i back out of this house again
will i take this one on the chin
the dust that's left can have you
i used to watch it grab you
lying there beside of me
daylight and you was all i'd see
it floated in around me
i watched it try to drown me
like the things you've done despite of him
the man you loved and washed in sin
look at what your love's done
my strength, my love, my life - gone forever

this place is just not the same
outlines from all the picture frames
you missed the look i gave you
the emptiness will shake you
standing at the door i'd leave
taking in all these scents i grieve
its pressing in around me
the future's here to ground me
now my chest just swells with all my love
to release the wounds i'm thinking of
look at what your love's done
my strength, my love, my life - lost forever