make a halo with your hands

back to the door

2009-03-16T13:26:00.007-05:00

back to the door where it feels right
she's just another version of you
yeah back to the door it just feels right
is there anyone waiting for you

just keep knocking, keep knocking
back to the door
yeah keep knocking, keep knocking
back to the door

now back on the floor where it feels right
she's the right perversion of you
then back to the door cause it feels right
now keep knocking, keep knocking
back to the door

she's screaming things, i want to hear

you say to me but your not there

in these avenues, i think you are

in the words she says, i bet you are

we've found that door, and passed it up

i'll drink to you and pass the cup

she's sipping wine, that i drink too much

and showing things, i'm gonna touch

her back to the door and keep knocking

yeah keep knocking, keep knocking

til you hear me come - back to the door
yeah keep knocking, keep knocking
back to the door

promises

2008-07-17T13:56:00.007-05:00

i remember those walks to that park by the shore
talking about levitation or the love it brings
the cherry marks left from our passion sings

and how i stopped you before you could ever know
all the places you wanted to go
even if you never knew how to walk away
even though we knew the levitations could help our way

oh and how much i hated that lip gloss you wore
but couldn't wait to wipe it from my mouth again
as you promised to not wear it again

i guess we always knew this story's ending
the promises that sent us on our way home
the promises of blind answers to the future questions that we own
the promises of residue your trust betrayed and sold
the promises of all the things we've ever known

the promise to promise my way back home

where i'll meet you

2008-06-27T15:03:00.000-05:00

baby let it go
everything around you
baby let it show
everything you've expected to have
it's not the ending that counts
it's when you've realized you've arrived there

maybe it was wrong
but could we've known
maybe it's right
and the next move is your's to make
it's not what happens in the end
it's how far you'd go to get there

theres a town near by
where the ending never comes
everyone arrives
but they pass right through
that's where i'll meet you
it's where i'll meet you

baby let it go
it'll be alright
because i let it go
again tonight

again tonight...

saving graces

2008-05-07T15:58:00.001-05:00

i'm kicking around the pieces
these memories you've left behind this door
now i'm in all your blankets again
but they can't keep me warm anymore
so i'm finding comfort in stills
and spirits i carry home with me everynight

it is the only thing that still feels right

this room is empty again
everything i have pushed back to the walls
remembering march nineth
where i kept you pressed against it all
i always gave you my best
whether it was in my arms or in our bed

it was the only thing that really felt right

the perfect words

2008-04-29T12:07:00.000-05:00

i woke up in my car
retracing how i got here
outside your house
covered in blinding regret
but i can see you
wrapped in those red curtains
hand on the window
you want to touch me again
but still won't let me in

last night you wept
and set that room on fire
with anger from trust
i saw love leave your eyes
but i can see you
wrapped in those white sheets
love in your heart
you want to touch me again
but still won't let me in

and here i am again
alone in front of another ending
this could be it
the exact moment i've been waiting for
but can i remember the perfect words from last night
or will i just stare at all the things i fear i've lost

stolen and broken

2008-04-01T12:47:00.001-05:00

...if it's all we are why does it feel so wrong
when every time i really try you aren't there
long enough for me to believe you'll be back

now you know i'm here to catch my breath
so i can finally tell you how much this hurts
every time you say "tonight let's just be lovers"

and i can't seem to fight it
i just can't fight it anymore

so please bare with me now
while i try to walk away tonight
without resolve, without strength
knowing i just don't know how

for now i'll just wait around these thoughts
trying hard to remember how you really felt
when you wanted to touch the man i am

it's not you i hear behind that voice anymore
it was your soul that sounded like true affection
every time you used to say "let's stay like this"

and i can't seem to fight it
i just can't fight it anymore

so please bare with me now
while i try to walk away tonight
without resolve, without strength
knowing i just don't know how

i just don't know how to fight it anymore
and i just want to fight it some how
but i don't ever want to forget that night
no matter how hard i try to fight it
stolen and broken my heart was on stage
the night it seemed like everyone cares
the three hours that everything changed
that night you filled these empty stares

but please bare with me now
while i try to walk away again
without you and without the strength
of knowing i just don't know how

know

2008-03-20T17:05:00.000-05:00

she said "lately, it's been an interesting string
the line between where we started and what you still sing,"
i am forever yours, you know you know you know
and somehow i’m gone

she said "greatly, i've been quite the spoiled one
smiling at how i know i decide when all this will be done"
i am forever yours, you know you know you know
but i'm already gone

she said "i am uptight and wonderful like you've known
i'm nothing more than the beautiful disaster i've always shown”
i am forever yours, i know i know i know no i know
and i still can't breathe

she said "sorry’s don't hold up to the offenses they defend
but suffice a hunger for words that cripples more than it mends
i was never yours, i think you knew, i know you know”
but i still believe

fear and trust

2008-03-19T14:41:00.003-05:00

remember
just for a few minutes
passion and trust
december
and both of us,
quietly trapped
between our winter lust

put it away for now
but don't misplace it
take care of it until tomorrow
like you do your heart

and forever
felt just out of reach
for our minor roles
but december
could bring us together
except no one knows

i remember the day it ended
yeah, the day it didn't even start
i watched you walk into tomorrow
and the way you carried your heart
forever remember december
for it's passion and lust
forever remember december
for what it did to us

forgiven me

2008-03-07T16:58:00.002-06:00

the stains i've grown to love and hate
still feel as fresh tonight as they ever did
as i'm trying to resurrect the stories
with the hand that is lying next to them
flush as they watch me grow hoary

and i know you've never forgiven me
because some how i will never forget
the bottles you've helped me empty
the passion i can finally neglect

excuse me if i'm still the only one
in this room who has the right to yell
obscenities and predictions of fate
regarding the parents and guardians
of these stains i swear i still hate

ruined

2008-03-06T11:55:00.003-06:00

you sounded so good on the phone today
so i just built these scenes around you again
constructions of where i wanted to stand
solidly fake and easily broken
you're so perfect from far far away
and while i'm holding on you crumble up inside

now i'm grinning like a jealous lover
gripping things just to see how hard i can squeeze
and relying on all these fucked up dreams
just to understand how you ripped out of the deepest parts of me
i no longer see you in the stories you're in
but i still want to remember the smell of your skin

all these shirts you've ruined
and all the days i've died
all the melting summer nights
and all the precious tastes i've tried
all your tragic horror stories
of all the different times i lied
and i just want to believe in you again

hold on

2008-03-05T14:13:00.001-06:00

all this chaotic innocence
these wings i'm not used to
these things i'm not used to
i'll just try them on for a while
could they ever rescue me

i'm facing this power of choice
doing what i want tonight
or listening to the solemn voice
in my head
"hold on, just give it some time
no hold on, and give it some time"

but i could rush right back in
she's unexpected, some kind of jem
these things i'm not used to
she brings what i'm not used to
could it ever rescue me now

i'm facing this challenge of choice
just do what i want tonight
or listen closely to this solemn voice
in my head
"and hold on, give it some time
just hold on, just a little more time"

squeeze

2008-03-05T14:11:00.001-06:00

when you leave me
just wrap your hands around me
but don't squeeze
just let me know you're there
so when i'm free
i will find a way to kiss again
and still breathe
just to let you know i'm there

you say you're sorry now
but what about tomorrow
is it too far away to touch
you say you're sorry now
but not about tomorrow
because it's just too much

when i forget the
parting glances, the second chances
i can't regret all
the times i took them for granted
now i'm running
through the moments i've kept you in
you're so stunning
in every memory that you walk away

you say you're sorry now
but what about tomorrow
is it too far away to touch
you say you're sorry now
but not about tomorrow
because it's just too much

how flawless you seem from far away
tomorrow just looks like yesterday
don't go now, just stay
how rigid you've grown from day to day
i just want to see you like yesterday
don't go now, i'll stay

you say you're sorry now
but what about tomorrow
is it too far away to touch
is it just too far to touch

slowly

2008-03-04T17:34:00.002-06:00

i miss the way your voice cracks
when you start to scream
i could hold on to all your possibilities
as you drive them through me

i'm coming on to you slowly
just like death
i want to take every part of you
with me
your last breath

i tried to carry all this weight
my shoulders are strong but too thin
you couldn't find it there to wait
or in you to try it in two trips

i'm coming on to you slowly
just like death
i want to take every part of you
with me
your last breath

i feel the pulse slow down
i feel the grip release
i see the pale look of silence
when i scream please
i don't want to remember
i don't want to remember
that i can wait forever

sing me love

2008-03-04T17:33:00.002-06:00

you walked in and stared at me
crying "please forgive me, please"
cause you knew i would, you knew
yes i've got enough pride to swallow
but i know you i can't follow

i apologize for not living up to it
ideas of who you could walk over
cause i know you did, i know
but i have what it takes this time
to just smile and sing to you

a little bit of something's left
even if that's true i have to go
cause everyone knows, we know
sing me love, sing me loss
sing me everything that i'll let go

that i'll let go
that i'll let go
sing me love, sing me loss
sing me everything that i let go
that i just let go

dark grey pleasure

2008-02-27T10:30:00.002-06:00

i keep letting go of what i remember
and holding on to these things that i know
but you possess all my strength
yes my breath, my grip, and my soul
this keeps getting better and bigger
the death for the birth of a star
and if i was in a room full of people
i'd just want to know who you are

i'm tossing out numbers and letters
they don't say the same as your eyes
the lights and the darks are forever
it's the greys that tell us our lies
these seconds are fading with pleasure
so pleasure can't know where we are
but if i knew this room full of people
i'd still want to know who you are

i still want to know who you are

it's alright, it's ok

2008-02-22T15:54:00.000-06:00

i can't keep touching this place
on a day, like today
i remember how beautiful you could be
to me, like today
but i can't keep touching you here

i want to be right there
and stay forever as a memory
like the images of you
that lavender always brings
i see you everywhere

i can't keep looking at you from here
on a night, like tonight
i see the beauty you always seem to have
to me, like tonight
but i can't keep looking at this place

it's alright, it's ok to be afraid
it's alright, it's ok to start over
is it ok to have never started
if i only had one more day

never again

2008-02-19T15:00:00.001-06:00

you called me
you're upset
you called to tell me your regrets

you cried to me
apologized
i wish i could look into those eyes

i won't speak
i breath soft
i can't believe it's me you've called

i hold on
to each word
the most beautiful lies i've ever heard

i miss you, i miss you every night
i miss you, yes i miss you
and i will never love you the same again

i know it's you

2008-02-11T16:59:00.001-06:00

i noticed the things i wasn't supposed to
like sheets with which ghosts are made
but something left you free and uncovered
and now i'm not afraid, i can see your eyes
i know it's you

i've been watching you move around in here
so wounded and with so much quiet pain
and now all the lonely things i gave you
have found their way to the ground and broken
i know it's you

what else, yeah what else can i do
i will be here til the end again, you know it
what else, yeah what else can i do here

now the liveliest thing that i've seen in days
smoke dancing off of a burning cherry
from the end of one of your clove cigarettes
slowly dying in the ashtray without you
i know it's you

what do you mean

2008-02-06T13:18:00.000-06:00

she said 'you don't understand me,
i don't think you ever have before
i'm a princess without a castle
i'm a heart without a soul
i'm beautiful with no one to see'

and i said 'what the hell is that supposed to mean
just tell me what you mean'

she smiled and whispered
'i have always wanted to tell you
all these words that i've said
when you were not around to hear
but honesty's addicted to never coming out
at least i never cheated'

and i said 'what the hell is that supposed to mean
just tell me what you mean
you need prince and not a king
words to every song you sing
someone to hold you everytime you breathe
or you just don't need me'

i wanted to try

2008-02-04T13:09:00.001-06:00

was it on purpose the way you held me
when i first saw you from across the table
across a distance i know i could leap to
but i just stared at the space between us

i felt the great idea of pursuit and conquer
thinning my blood by the spoon fulls
each time your eyes caught mine again
while my heart dies to eight beats a minute

oh god i'm unpredictable in this breeze of time
where the next move could be my last
a sea of envisioned reactions flood my eyes
yet i never birth the opportunity to test one

but i swear i wanted to try, i wanted to try

am i still alive

2008-01-31T16:03:00.001-06:00

when you try
you always try to be so hard
just to keep things easy on you now
when you cry
you always like to pull that card
and it keeps things easy on you now

yes i'm easy on you
i'm easy on you still

i hope you'll always be that
while i'm still alive
am i still alive
am i still alive
i hope i'll always be that
while i'm still alive
am i still alive
am i still alive

then you move
side to side yes now up to down
i can't wait to miss you again now
then i prove
i'm weaker if you're not around
i can't wait to miss you again now

yes i miss you again
yes i'm missing you still

you are everything i wanted
i hope you'll always be that
while i'm still alive
was i anything you wanted
i hope i'll always be that
while i'll still alive
am i still alive
am i still alive

champion

2008-01-30T15:16:00.000-06:00

i'm useless at drinking
but a champion when sinking
since i've been letting you feel

i hate being so scared
tight gripped and white haired
when i touch the things you steal

i guess it's alright to tell you why
i don't remember when you said good-bye
but i'm holding on to the direction you waved

this fascination of nights
dark corners and black lights
since i've been letting you feel

look at me one more time
from pictures that aren't mine
yes, i still touch the things you steal

i'm so tired of being people you can't love
i guess it's alright to tell you why
i don't remember when you said good-bye
but i'm holding on to the direction you waved

midnight

2008-01-16T14:34:00.001-06:00

press me down
i can feel you trying
from the edge of existance
it's midnight
blue-grey grey tint
through my shades i stare
pictures there
glimmered glare screams
the dust covered unlover i've lost

there's not a sound, you're not around
feels like the end of the world
all of my fears have followed me here
and now i'm home to stay
but this quiet insight is still too bright
to bring me back to you

sunday
can i be saved
by the daylight coming
cold sheet
next to my thigh
soft breaths used to breathe
narrow dreams
or a vision i still see
am i asleep or can you see me

one and eleven

2008-01-11T13:53:00.000-06:00

all these crimes we commit against each other
patience for patients and a little paid chance
you keep throwing me back to the wolves
yes, and i gladly step up for the tosses
i don't remember the end anymore
for the first time, and i hope not the last
i can touch the memories with low moral fiber
scenes that belong in PG-13 romantic comedies
bartered feelings for stolen words
and the girl always comes out on top for the critics
yes, you were always on top
slap me for saying it, i'll repeat it
so you will follow around with another
last night i was disgusted by you
and i still had hardened feelings when we touched
let's see how far i can run now
because i know one day i'll turn around
the horizon will be sky on land, a sunset
and i'll remember it forever
because it'll be the last time i wanted to see you coming

some how

2008-01-10T08:52:00.000-06:00

sing me the songs you heard
when you were young
the one's that made you fall in love some how
i want you to play them for me now

now baby, if you'd just slow down a little
i could look into your eyes
i haven't seen you around this town for sometime now
but i keep looking for those eyes

we've backed up to this corner
we've held out our hands
i could scream i love you loud
yes, i could play it for you now
i just want you to know
i just want you to know
i just want you to know
some how...

but baby, if you'd just slow down a while
i could stare into those eyes
i haven't seen you around now not this time, no
but i just wanted to say good-bye...

some how... if i could
i would play it all for you now
i just want you to know
i just want you to know
i just want you to know
some how...

some how i just wanted you to know

eyes

2007-12-11T16:43:00.000-06:00

a soft reflective glaze persists
giving off a subtle more round figure
i want to be secure in them
no matter the direction they dictate
stories revealed beyond them
honesty destroyed to them
love delivered through them

a soul is captured and defined
behind the vision of your eyes
and i can see you clearly in them

a branded mood ring displayed
home of the most articulate whispers
i want to be trapped beside them
frozen without the power of my silver tongue
grey's contentment beyond them
green's degredation to them
blue's passion through them

a soul is captured and defined
behind the vision of your eyes
and you can see me clearly in them

firefly

2007-12-07T14:50:00.000-06:00

...now let me lie by your side
so i can be close to you
on everything i have tonight
i want a smell from you
i could be a firefly
you could be one too
we could light up the sky
from the jar i share with you
where we spend our life
and everything we do
you've been here for years
i could give you something new

let me lie on your side
so i can be honest with you
look into your eyes
connecting us blue to blue
i can't find a reason why
it's something we shouldn't do
just look back at me
if you only knew
all the worlds i've conquered
to get next to you
i could hold up this world
and be right on cue

let me lie by your side
and be there for you
i could light up your sky
you could light up too

just you

2007-12-07T13:00:00.000-06:00

and far behind the mist and darkness
finally you appeared
you as you, just you

like a painting that i could never finish
i never knew the warrior, the courageous victor

a triumphant heroine staggering home
your solemn image
you as you, just you

i've been watching though honest intentions
once white now stained of brewed tea

phantom hopes of a future existence
where i'm your hero
you as you, just you

revived from a battle ground of putative suitors
standing alone without the guard of my shield

i'm vulnerable now without you here
the fight you carry
you as you, only you

prelude and air

2007-12-05T11:11:00.000-06:00

trace the outline of my face
your fingers slide down and back up
you should know it by now
a slow tune and i'm your cello
soft words, your voice is so calm
your lips on mine, we're breathing
i'm close to you but we aren't here
our world is somewhere else
the snow is always beautiful
but it's never cold
every word means i love you
but there are no sounds to be heard
our eyes are always closed
and we see everything
i know exactly where you are
i feel every part of you
i'm inside your soul
i am your pain, i am your love
i am the weakness you are dreaming of

ainda

2007-11-28T08:36:00.000-06:00

a numbed hollow breeze that moans around me
the land what I touched, longs to touch myself also
the morning ocean scents are always fresh and new
like dew to the dawn, it is never the same thing as in all the parts of the day
the coldness of the wind closes my eyes and you are here with me
my hair gives in to the touch, the passage of your fingers
grazing my cheek, whispering deeply and i'm floating
how much time has it been, i can see for miles around me
i can't remember the last day i saw your eyes
but i can still see them remembering me
ainda and watching intently as i back away
you are not forgotten, your voice echos inside me
perfect reverb of each inflection you've made towards me
the sun is rising, i'm focused on cat's-paws and subtle colors
the songs of grey, blue and green sing to me - - your eyes are everywhere
i believe it's you looking back over me everyday, painfully watching
guiding me to where you are, East - there my course has been set
you are not forgotten, ainda inside my mind - covering my eyes
this breeze that carries me to you is calm, warm, and of an affection
and i'm floating still, this wind, this ocean, these smells
i promise that I will not cling to anything until I cling to you

barely moving

2007-11-14T09:26:00.001-06:00

i watched you dancing, careless and free
wind pushing the branches above the form you display
your hair dances with the trees
to a rhythm too mystic to comprehend

...and i'm trapped, a violent animal caged
not able to be who i want
the feeling of knowing i can't control this
the point where it's made obvious
when hope dies, replaced with fear and doubt
like being dispossessed... i'm finally real again
a weight is lifted and i want it back
i can't move forward - there's only a different path
when i enjoyed the view on this one for so long
the memories already sculpted
the daydreams already had
the lives already changed
and yes now i'm trapped, feral and savage
i want to destroy this prison
but i fear it's where i belong...

i'm barely moving and my pulse races
wishing you knew me the way i always thought i did
knowing that you're preciously lost
and your dress hugs you the way i want to

hearts of the hopeless

2007-11-14T08:19:00.000-06:00

on milwaukee and honor we stand
rain falling and breaking
at the tempo i feel my chest pound towards you
spring showers are always so brilliant
you're barely moving towards me but i feel you right here
we were caressing wine an hour ago
drops mosey around us while you wait to be my wine now
i'm losing myself to the breeze and sunlight
i notice you close your eyes and i wonder
is this the right time to live free from life
what day is this, sunday afternoon in a romance novel
the hero gets the girl because he's what she wants
do you know who i am in the middle of the night
am i going to be this person tomorrow morning
will you know yourself in a week
your eyes haven't even closed yet and i'm moving closer
a cliche romantic scene from the hearts of the hopeless
cars pass, people watch, children giggle
before i kiss you i whisper as i'm still moving through your aura
"brace yourself" mumbles from under my breath
and your mouth presses against the unexpected
mine against a smile, and now i'm falling
with the rain, with my pulse, with you...

an immortal night

2007-11-11T19:24:00.001-06:00

i tried to whisper these things, "can you take this off"
i'm not asking you to disrobe, just let me inside your heart
these aren't the first things that comes to mind
you aren't privileged to that wit now, but it couldn't hurt
i can't find the right words to deepen this night
dusk hasn't started kissing the morning yet
just let this go on for a while, we'll have our trophy weekend
two days set what we will base the future on, and we will
standing on that boat the wind caught me perfectly
i begin to think i belong to this world, it has me
a glass of port, a toast off the same and i was so clever
i can't say enough each time i breathe
will i be dismissed at the end of this adventure
or will you give improvisation a chance
some of us are better on our feet anyway
"may i have this dance," more whispers
i'm not asking for your hand and closeness
just the chance, there's that word again,
that opportunity to whisper these things in real time
to take my turn and run with it like i've always been able to do
i can't find the right words still, but the night is young
how young does it look to you, i could make it immortal
all these mortal seconds trapped inside one immortal night
if you wanted it to be, immortal it could be...

we are truth

2007-11-09T19:14:00.000-06:00

these childish crimes, your lonely eyes
we pack such a strong serial scheme of make believers
do the cries from this spectre ignite power or fear
you know what you are doing when you throw me those hips
quiet secrets spilled coyly from from the edge of your lips
and i know what you are saying
inside this darkness... behind the rumors of my mind
the truth is a yellow balloon floating in a white room
deceitfully small, awkwardly alone, ambiguously loud
this world had so much to live for before i loved you
and honesty will smother the life breathing through us all
pounds of fog escaping our mouths
it's cold and wet outside but tonight i can only feel you
stabbing me back into my lifeless soul, my cavern
asking me to be stronger this time, baby kiss me now
and i just want everyone to see me hung for my misfortunes
it's time i pay the price for my sins, i'll leave myself in love here

bavarois

2007-11-07T11:01:00.000-06:00

my love is kind of easy, the lines are defined dark and clear
there's the fresh smell of the sea beneath the dock we've conquered

you're holding on to this view you've wandered so quietly into
a silouette of love and passion that isn't far from your anxious reach

knowing how long it could take to make everything feel perfect
we're waiting above the shallow water to see if the sun still sets tonight

hearing the movement of elements below, or is that inside our hearts
which ever we've found a way to solidify honesty in this tower of hope

i need a little contact, let me feel your answers when you kiss me
i don't know where to look, my heart is stretching to feel you

you've saved me from such darkness, you've calmed an ocean inside
they'll name comets after us and the intersection where we first kissed

the cross-streets where lovers will go to spark romance and dreams
they'll play our songs on that corner forever, long after that deli's closed

the sun has just kissed the surface of the sea, and i your hand
an explosive picture we've painted, perfect lovers waiting out the day

an old wooden dock, the silent sea, purple and orange clouds
warmth, comfort, passion, love, hope, beauty, perfection... us

limits

2007-11-06T10:40:00.001-06:00

let's play this game
i can swoon you for days and you can't help but trip
an hour of excitement and hour anxiety
looped and repeated in a perfect order
a track listing to engage curiosity for my origin
i can be wonderful forever
i am amazing and you'll always be worried for that to end
so far to go and you don't know why i've been able to be this open
trust me, as much as you think you've touched there's more
do you know what it's like to hear someone say that you didn't make the cut
no one is above me, you are the one who is getting left behind
you crossed the wrong finish line
and for some reason no one has ever crossed this one
i'm not that competitive but fuck if i'm not the best
why bring it up... you'll never know anyway
maybe i should be fake, maybe i should play everyone else’s game
to stand on the side an witness everyone glare with horror
knowing they don't understand where i come from
or what i could offer next
and always be too afraid to test the limits of anticipation
to bewilder expectations with a psychotic intensity and repetition
it's almost worth it, the belief that it's still there waiting
but is it - this savage emptiness, this carnage, this unknown aura
where does it start to love me back
when does the attention it's been given reciprocate
who am i allowed to be today

with words

2007-11-01T09:46:00.000-05:00

to the left i placed my heart
top drawer beside your locket
crawled up so i could watch it

i could undress you with words
here's to what i will not say
to the games we still won't play

just as slow as you can pull
just one strap off your shoulder
i laugh, you pushed me over

you're lips press against my chest
i love when you take a breath
above my pending idle death

the room is vivid and loud
hands lost in gentle places
the way you move, your faces

i watched you touch, kiss, smile
beneath my love in my bed
from up above, fears i shed

your holding on to this light
the fire that causes the night
and it's only in your head...

gypsy beads

2007-10-29T13:26:00.000-05:00

it resembles a gypsy's doorway and still beats to remind me i'm alive
pink and twilled to dangle upon entering but you didn't garnish a sound
ironcially i saw your future before you walked through
but you didn't pay anyway, you just found the doorway and smiled at the view
you didn't break this so don't lose sleep, you just found a way to peel away at it
strips of tissue available to anyone because i won't close up
i could number them and hand out slips before hand
stand in line and wait for your number, please pull here!
i don't blame you for your choices
i pity the sacrafical lamb that takes the hit
we please the gods and then a tasty meal afterwards
we aren't the ones gutted and left to bleed out
spritially and physically satisfied, we are content with the loss
i can't bring myself to say you and me... i the lamb and meal
are you satisfied? don't be, i haven't finished bleeding...
please pull again i don't think i got the picture...
i don't think the gods have accepted the sacrifice...

when you breathe

2007-10-26T17:13:00.001-05:00

lean into me, let me smell you again
i don't know if i'll get over you tonight
long enough to fall asleep
could it be best to just stay here and hold you
for you, for me... would you know it was me
i feel empty when you breathe
i wish you were looking at me the same way
your eyes are closed and you reached for my hand
i can see my hand in yours, is that what you see
do you know it's me, am i making you sigh tonight
i could reach your neck with my mouth
i could whisper to your skin, take you in
would that be alright with you, would know it's me
i can't keep my eyes open and you're still all i see
i feel you squeeze me while you dream
can i squeeze back, do you want it to be me

almost three a.m.

2007-10-26T17:12:00.001-05:00

almost three am, i can't take my eyes off the road
my breath still flows in front of me
you're painted in thoughts
the way you traced my hand with your thumb
i watched every inch of movement
your eyes were closed and i couldn't help but wonder
do you know it's me you're touching
afraid to move i can't sense the right place for my hands
curled up sleeping, you pull me closer
do you know that i'm there
the battle for this position, to be next to you at daybreak
cold and hoping for your warmth
expecting to be the one you've stolen sheets from
this battle has me scared
how deep can i go without expecting pain, this will hurt
tonight you brushed my leg, my arm, my hands
ran your fingers through my hair, kissed my shoulder
you held my hand... your eyes were open
what happens when mine are closed
what do i not know
almost three am and i'm more awake than i should be

nuzzle in

2007-10-26T10:00:00.000-05:00

nuzzle in, i need you closer cause it just feels right
hold me, then hold my hand, and hold me again
i adore the way you breathe in while you're asleep
i could stand here shivering in the cold for hours
just kiss me again, kiss my neck, nuzzle in

nuzzle in, i'll miss this smell, this warmth, pull me in
kiss my shoulder, kiss my cheek, kiss me good night
reach for my hand, reach for my comfort, reach for me
touch my head, touch my hand, touch my heart
kiss me again, kiss my neck, nuzzle in

the choler of our last pieces of hope

2007-10-22T14:11:00.000-05:00

i'm set upon this crescent soul to wax and wane at your touch,
tired and filthy, i brush against my severed thoughts,
to be alone with you at last, comforted quietly warm and whist,
covered in echoes of the past now muted by the silence we fill,
searching for forgiveness from the choler of our last pieces of hope
woven back with chaotic grace to ruin-like sanctums of who we were,
we'll just be here, scattered together in the mist of future hope and anguish,
floating, falling, failing and flawless - we'll find ourselves together,
we'll find what we've lost in neighborhoods we're reluctant to see again,
exploring the wine chasing rumination that spawned our vichyssoise of honesty,
we'll remember that delicacy forever, empowering it with pleasure,
and we'll find ourselves wanting to find ourselves together.

i'm not made of sunshine

2007-10-04T11:45:00.001-05:00

i used to love the way you smiled
now only the way i remember it
your face lingers in my love
i won't forget to give you your space
in my heart and in my soul
just be a good girl
be the first thing i think of
when someone asks me about love
be the second name to appear
when i think of fear
the only person i'm afraid to see more
death, but he won't kiss me good bye
untie this knot that's keeping us together
breakout and see past the light
open your eyes, you'll see i'm not what you thought
i'm not made of sunshine
but i always brightened your day
i could see you growing towards me
i can see how you felt you needed it
but that's not me

talk slower

2007-10-04T11:44:00.000-05:00

i only wanted to be slightly beauish
stand closer, smile softer, talk slower
let's not allow ghosts to thrive between us
let me open these doors for you
i can find a way to hold your hand
a haunting lesson of cavalierism
it back fires even in my imagination
but at least i've tried, at least i wanted it
this is all about what we know we want
what we know is there, what we know we feel
and what we are too afraid to face
a weekend of pseudo-paramours
as real as the dreams we wake from
everything is there and we know it
and just as easily left behind us
when we decide to open our eyes

what your love's done

2007-10-02T15:24:00.000-05:00

i back out of this house again
will i take this one on the chin
the dust that's left can have you
i used to watch it grab you
lying there beside of me
daylight and you was all i'd see
it floated in around me
i watched it try to drown me
like the things you've done despite of him
the man you loved and washed in sin
look at what your love's done
my strength, my love, my life - gone forever

this place is just not the same
outlines from all the picture frames
you missed the look i gave you
the emptiness will shake you
standing at the door i'd leave
taking in all these scents i grieve
its pressing in around me
the future's here to ground me
now my chest just swells with all my love
to release the wounds i'm thinking of
look at what your love's done
my strength, my love, my life - lost forever

maybe...

2007-09-19T23:21:00.000-05:00

i just want to feel you tremble beside me after only a few words,
and with only a few more i hope something can start to move you,
as long as you stay close to me tonight,
i hope it's me that moves you,
do you want to dance with me a few more times,
close enough to ask you where you came from,
maybe close enough to move you, maybe...

today is the first time i really saw you, there's still so much time,
dance with me and we'll get lost slowly, slow enough to move you,
i'll remember where your hands are placed,
i'll let you know it moves me,
my mouth close to your ear so you can hear me smile,
close enough to ask you how you spell your name,
maybe close enough to move you, maybe...

i should apologize for dancing poorly, but the music is so far away,
and you don't notice it since so many other things can move you now,
you're breathing so beautifully in my arms,
now silence perfectly moves us,
what could be better than dancing with you tonight,
close enough to ask you to tell me who you are,
maybe close enough to move you, maybe...

whispered morning

2007-09-08T14:01:00.000-05:00

a soft exhale, my lips rest on the back of your neck
i ease out of sleep and neither of us have moved
still breathing deeply our bodies filling and sinking together
such great heights behind us and the rest of the day ahead
i brush my face through your hair and take you in
you pull me closer with our fingers still entwined
whispers of good morning when i kiss your neck
you give me more skin when you feel the hair around my mouth
and i kiss you again, everything looks perfect from here
a shoulder turns and your hips face mine
eyes still closed, a leg and arm move across me
slowly i'm a part of you and pulled close again
my cheek in your hair, yours to my chest
the sweet smell pushes me back to sleep
your lips press my neck quietly, a soft exhale
a whispered reply, warm breath caresses good morning back
and what a good morning it is

just like we planned

2007-08-29T14:06:00.000-05:00

i wish, i could be by your side
and hold you close
when we float down
i know, it can feel like we've planned
and just like we've
always thought
can we, face that we are afraid
of the choices
that we will make

that neither of us are willing to take home

i hope, that both these hands stay warm
so when we touch
you'll want me there
i could, just give you everything
that i don't give
to anyone
i want it to be, like we planned
so lets float down
'til we've landed

we don't have to take any of this night home

if i promise

2007-08-28T08:09:00.000-05:00

she doesn't know how to say it clearly
hiding behind silence instead
i hope to see you again soon
if i promise to fall in love tonight will you?
could we dance slowly after the night is over
i think it'll be alright before too long
would you feel safe inside of all of this
if i promise to see you off with a goodnight kiss
the early morning light is surprising
i didn't think we'd spend this much time alone
will you dream about me when we're apart
if i promise to return and fill your heart

sunday morning

2007-08-27T15:06:00.000-05:00

i don't mind getting lost inside
you keep me looking for so much more
sunday morning is warmer than expected
i could disappear in here forever
and wake up everyday in this beautiful place
it just keeps me begging for more
rainy days that won't keep me dry
a sacred kiss and whispers that you don't hide
you keep me looking for more
sunday mornings in this orchard
bedsheets for company and a day to waste
the smell of your skin the delicate taste
i just remembered the way it came
just me carrying something softly
your grip on my soul, just don't let go
sunday mornings can last forever.

underneath these boxes

2007-08-27T13:50:00.000-05:00

i'm sure its not how you would have done it
do you remember saying good-bye
it wasn't going to land well after all
we had all day to cover this field, but we started to fall
i've never seen a rose grow and die so quickly
but by any other name...
i'm not going to touch that again
you know where it was going when it began
i wasn't looking for you in here
this could be all my fault, but it'd be hard to believe
please let me sit here tonight and breathe
you weren't hidden in my boxes but underneath
bent and frail they seem iconic
i remember you walking out the door
warn, discoloured, damaged and true
representations of plastic that was you